A joke:

Moses, Jesus and some 'ol geezer were going to play a round of golf. Moses teed off, the ball went right into the pond. "No problem!" he said. Moses walked over, parted the water, and hit the ball again. This time it landed about one foot from the hole.

Jesus then teed off and the ball went flying off to the left, hit a tree, then miraculously bounced within about six inches of the hole.

The 'ol geezer stepped up and teed off. As the ball headed right for the pond, a huge bass jumped up and grabbed the ball in its mouth. Suddenly an eagle swooped down, grabbed the bass and flew over the green. The bass dropped the ball and it rolled within two inches of the hole! All of the sudden, a worm popped up and knocked the ball in. A hole in one.

Moses looked at Jesus and said, "You know, I really hate it when your dad plays."


Quotes:

"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." - Tyler Durden from Fight Club

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken" - Tyler

"True religion is real living; living with all one's soul, with all one's goodness and righteousness. " - Albert Einstein

"All these moments lost in time, like tears in the rain" - Roy Batty from Blade Runner

"Jules, if you give that fuckin' nimrod fifteen hundred dollars, I'm gonna shoot him on general principles." - Vincent from Pulp Fiction

"Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is? " - Craig Shwarz in Being John Malkovich

"Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. " - Morpheus

"Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything." -Eugene Delacroix

"An American is a man with two arms and four wheels."
-A Chinese child

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it." -George Orwell